Do me a favour really quickly would you? Have a look on your phone at what was the last video you recorded on it. The last video I took was a shaky, blurry and incredibly poorly filmed video of a party that was being hosted at my workplace, specifically when the DJ played Tina Turner's classic pop anthem 'The Best' - it's a far from compelling narrative featuring a distinct lack of focus and several bored and confused looking bystanders. Quite frankly it's a poor video - I sent it to some of my friends who I went on holiday with to Bulgaria and even to them, who were in on the niche Tina Turner moments I was referencing, were far from impressed.
Sean Baker's incredible comedy drama about transgender prostitutes in LA was shot entirely on an iPhone 5s, entirely. Puts my Tina Turner video to such shame I may as well smash my phone and post the parts FAO Turner and Baker. It's a wonderful wonderful film made all the more exciting and engaging and exhilarating because of its iPhone 5 filming style. Tangerine is deservedly raking in rave reviews, featuring on several prominent "best of year" lists and it is well worth your time and attention BUT that's not why we are here.
The Christmas Story
Y'know how in the intro for "Trading Places" I mentioned how some films that are associated with Christmas only really earn that association based purely on the film in question being set around the festive period? "Tangerine" takes that idea and hurls it against the wall. The story is thus, fresh out of a 28-day stint in prison, transgender prostitute Sin-Dee is told by her BFF Alexandra that her pimp BF has been sleeping with some chick whose name begins with D while she's been doing time. Sin-Dee (who is self-proclaimed "fierce as f**k") is justifiably whipped into a frenzy and rages through Tinseltown on Christmas Eve trying to track down, and enact some street justice, on that no good Chester and the tramp he's been cheating with.
Apart from the date upon which this rampage of revenge takes place there is hardly anything "Christmassy" about Tangerine's Christmas story.
This film is great but...
0/5
The Voice of Christmas
Karo - the Armenian cab driver who Razmik's mother in law enlists to help her track down her wayward son in law. He's the only one who mentions Christmas in a positive light, the only one who mentions it in a pure 'tis the season kind of way. Everyone else mentions the time of year in an effort to get something sordid or questionable or to get out of a sticky ordeal. Karo however has this exchange with Razmik's Ma in law -
Karo - this weather in LA doesn't help set the holiday mood.
Ma in Law - there's no Christmas without snow.
Karo - Christmas is Christmas regardless of the weather.
BLAM!!! HOW DAMN VOICE OF CHRISTMAS IS THAT?!!?
4/5
Additional point for the guy in Razmik's cab, clearly feeling worse for wear, who after vomiting in the cab and on his friend is dragged out and before being sick again yells "IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHERE’S YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT? IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE!!! *vomits*"
+ 1
The Annoying Kid at Christmas
The one kid we see in Tangerine is really cute, and it seems her best friend is a husky, that's the ideal kid at Christmas. The accolade of annoying kid at Christmas has to go for Razmik's mother in law, she's such a meddling loud mouth who can't keep her nose out of her daughter's family's business. They're all just trying to have a lovely Christmas Eve and she's being a right irksome so and so at the table - she's really oh so very annoying. I understand that she has her daughter's best interests at heart but she just goes about it in the absolute worst way. She doesn't have the Christmas spirit whatsoever. Booooooooooo.
4/5
The Christmas Miracle
Uhm. Hmmm. There's a... Ah.
Pass.
0/5
The Christmas Message
I suppose the Christmas lesson that we can learn from Tangerine is that this is the season to be there for the people who matter to you, regardless of how foolhardy the endeavour is. Alexandra is there for Sin-Dee and it is only when the drama she alleges to oppose becomes too much that she bails. But that just makes it all the more sweeter when they reunite and realise that despite their flaws and imperfections they truly are best friends. After all isn't that what Christmas is really about? Being there through thick and thin for the people that truly matter, and supporting them. "CLAP! Clap for her!"
3/5
Additional Points
- the whole thing is filmed on an iPhone. That's amazing. + 1
- but it's not really all that Christmassy -1
- but c'mon it's a flipping fantastic film +1
- yeah but we're here to assess a film Christmassy-ness -1
- come on... I'll be your friend? + 1
- No. -1
- Oh you're mean.
The whole party room scene is fantastic.
Tangerine boasts some incredible lines -
"Oh girl. Another black boy on a board. They all think they goddamn Li'l Wayne."
"HERE COMES BIG SH*T THOMPSON!"
"We're buddies now; we've sucked the same c*ck."
Conclusion
There are a lot of folk who yearn for an alternative Christmas film. A film more subversive and less twee than traditional feel-good festive fare. People flock to the Die Hards and the Trading Places, get all excited for the Rare Exports and the The Night Befores. But I would like to say right now, that if you are truly TRULY genuinely after an alternative subversive festive flick then Tangerine is the new crown ruler of that title - Tangerine: the ultimate alternative Christmas classic.
12/25
P.S. If it were on any other scale I'd score Tangerine oh so highly but on a Christmas Classic scale... Alas.
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